The quiet things that no one ever knows

Well, I guess i really miss the way she used to always suck my cock. She loved it, I mean I loved it... but she loved it. I remember the look of dissapointment on her face anytime I had to tell her no. It was like telling a child chrismass was cancelled, half confused and half heartbroken. She would ask in her best voice of false confidence.

"Can I do it now"?

Knowing immediately what my awnser had to be I`d tell her stearnly.

"not now....But soon".

"oh... too fast" ?

laughing i`d awnser her. I`d make her laugh too. I`d make her feel strong and safe.
It`s what she wanted. She was what I wanted. we would be content, and then I would let her do it again.

As far as sex is concerned though nobody could hold a candle to this one... oh she was perfect. she moved just right. moaned so loud. and wanted me so much. we barely left the room and if we did something was sure to happen wherever we were. I could describe to you now every inch of her body. I have it mapped out in my mind. I would navigate her shores by the stars. I was commnd, and completely at her mercy.

" So you like that thing on your side huh"?

Catching her breath.

"mmm hmmm...How about you"?

"It`s alright".

We both knew I was full of shit. She made me special. she made me sure.She made me want her more with every word, breath touch, and I made her cum. There was nothing I ever wanted to do more.

Still, there was her. She couldn`t be tamed. She was strong. All I could do was run along side her. She knew what she wanted... and for a time it was me. She was direct, she had no shame.

" Lets fuck"

She said so sweetly, She wasn`t crass or overbearing. She knew I wanted her and She wanted me too. there was no reason to pretend we didn`t.

" ...."

I wasn`t shocked, or unsure of anything. there were just no more need for words. WE walked to one destination or another and scarred it with out bodies. A warm flattened patch of grass, a smear of flesh sealed in steam, or a broken table top. She set me free with her freedom.

"well"?

"huh oh sorry, did you ask something"?

"no. You just look like you`re thinking"?

"nope you fucked the toughts right out of me".

"Right... you know one day I`m going to find out what you thinkn about after sex"

"Be sure to fill me in when you do, ok sweetness"?

.......

No se nada

"I just don`t get what the point of it all is?"

"how do you mean?"

"Well I guess I just don`t see the point of writing if you`re not going to write ABOUT something."

"It`s really not about what I write about. The subject is entirely trivial. Actually I think I prefer when I write about nothing at all."

"That doesn`t make any sense, even when you`re writing about nothing you`re still writing about SOMETHING."

"Ok What I think I mean is that I don`t care what kind of story I write, It`s not about a happy ending or an ironic twist, It`s not even whether or not I think people will like it. It`s..."

"Ok now thats bullshit, I know you and I know that you always wish people will like it."

"ok, It`s true that I want people to like what I write, but thats not WHY I write. If you`re going to create anything, you need to know that you`re doing it for yourself."

" But don`t you think thats just all sentimental bullshit that you..."

"No this is it, bottom line. The world is this huge collective of voices and ideas, and sometimes I just need to know that my voice is out there. yeah...thats it."

He stood for a moment in silence before spitting the toothpaste out of his mouth. and walked back to the bedroom and opened the laptop carelessly placed on the edge of the bed. Sitting down, the girl beside him half wakes up.

"...what are you doing...?" She said sleepily.

"Nothing, at all. Go back to sleep."

She was then rocked flawlessly back to sleep by the soft and fluid sound of a keyboard contentedly at work.