Suck and let go.

I can see her now. Her back is to me and she's facing the kitchen; she smells like lavender. I came in the back while she was in the shower. She doesn’t even know I’m here. I step closer to her, slowly, as the silky smell of flowers grow stronger. I can feel the air of dampness around her. I raise my hand to touch her face; but she's heard me now. She turns quickly, and I can see her eyes grow open in surprise. She might scream, so I thrust my hand under her jawbone, hard. She's mouthing something now, but lacks the breath to speak. I squeeze harder before I thrust her, by the neck, backwards into the kitchen and she winces. No one will hear her now. She immediately reaches for the door next to her, but I lunge forward to close it, almost catching her hand inside. I give her the back of my hand across her right cheekbone and she lands face down overtop the stove; she's not moving, but I didn't hit her that hard. Trying to push off from the stovetop, I push her face down into the cold element and she yelps. I love it when they cry out.

"You are just vicious, did ya know that"?
She laughs slightly before confidently shrugging. "I like it rough".
Turning to face her he smiles and says, "that's the understatement of the century".
"But don't worry Hun, you won't hurt me; not really" she says holding him closer.
"I still worry though,” he adds with a more serious tone.
"That’s sweet. But you really don't have to" still giggling.
"Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something", she looks up and smiles.

She seems frozen, bent over the stove and all. Still holding her down, I rip her towel off with one pull. Her body still wet and pale, it's almost too much. I feel I’m losing control. I stand behind her, pressing my hips into her ass and bend down to bite the crook of her neck. She reaches back to scratch me or something, but she got nothing. I dig my nails in under her arm and pull, slowly, down her side. She’s already bleeding. I throw my elbow into her back and, pull her face off the burner. "How do you want me to fuck you"? She's excited now. I pull her off stove by the hair. She turns quickly down the hall, so I push her hard, and she almost falls over.
The things I'm going to do to this woman...

"You want me to do what"!?!
"Rape me"
"But, uh..."
She laughs, "Calm down. It's not for real, it's like role playing".
"I don't think I feel comfortable" he stops half sure of himself.
" Don't worry, I don't want you to do it now, but someday. Don’t even tell me when".
"I'm sorry, but I really don't think I can".
"You will".

When she got to the bedroom she tripped over the mattress on the floor, I guess in all the excitement and all. I turn her over on the bed and start a combination of kissing and biting down her neck. She starts tearing her nails down my back, so I take my shirt off. I pin her hands down hard against the floor behind her head, then immediately start on her breasts, pulling her cold hard nipples between my teeth. She bites my arm while it lies across her face. I reach for the handcuffs to the side of the bed, She's the real thing, all steal, no safeties or anything. I pin her down by the hips and go to work. She tasted excited. I wrestle the rest of my gear off, pull her hard by the hair and thrust inside her. The cold steal of the cuffs dig into my back and I can feel the blood rush to it. It was the most intense sex I've ever had. The next thing I can remember is waking up, strapped to a hospital bed. Goddamn boyfriend came in and got me with a golf club, or so I’m told. Fucking pussy.

"Why the hell would you ever want somebody to rape you"?
"It isn't real rape...” she said now only half sure of herself.
"Yeah, but even so, what's the appeal"?
"I don't know, haven't you ever wanted to feel completely without control"?

Times to come were awsome.

If you have returned to find this message, than i have, no doubt, gone toboganing. It would appear to be shortly after twelve in the A M, and reading Matt Good for little more than four hours has surely driven me to insanity. Finally.

Worry not, for despite the apparent headache from either over, or under sleep, the likelyhood of me deciding to commit suicide by method of tobogan is only slight. More than likely I will return cold and hungry. And may god have mercy upon my soul.

P.S. I have stolen your MP3 player, hopefully it's music will give me sustinance in the times to come

- letter written to my best friend, when I decided to wait
for her to return from the bar.[happy birthday Christina]